There are two things that get us truly fired up at Everyday Massive: transforming the employee experience through human connection, and the queen of games: croquet.

We are really good at one of these things, and the other we come together to play once a year, trash talking and fluke-shotting our way through a spring afternoon as best we can. But that doesn’t mean we don’t take it very, very seriously.

And so it was that we got together for our quarterly strategy session recently, before spending the afternoon trying to smack our mates off the green in the 3rd annual Bec Scully Memorial Cup.

The day had started well enough, with a team meditation to get us centred and ready for action, followed by our self-assessment of how we’d been going, both personally and professionally over the last quarter.

We talked about EM’s performance, future plans and values, and how we embody those values as we work together each and every day. Then, full of inspiration and camaraderie, we ate lunch and proceeded to the Burleigh Heads Palm Beach Croquet Club, where we would spend the next few hours attempting to destroy one another.

The afternoon began with many questions. Would our fearless leader Jen be able to defend her title? Would Andrew make a spectacular comeback after losing his crown last year? Would British import Thom be a secretly born-and-bred croquet champ? Would new starter Kath be scared off before she’d even set foot in the office?

And, most importantly, how would everyone interpret the ‘pastel’ dress code?

All would be revealed on an afternoon where, for the second year running, we raced against dark clouds that threatened to call the whole thing off at any moment.

Outfit of the day was identified early, when overachiever Taylah turned up in an outfit she had crocheted in its entirety (except the socks and sandals, sadly — maybe next year).

Speaking of socks and sandals, an honourable mention goes to Teus and Liddy, who plumbed the bargain bins at Boohoo Men for their matching threads, which will no doubt be on high rotation this party season. And Tim swears he had his highly flammable tropical suit just hanging in his wardrobe, which is concerning but also impressive.

But back to why we’re all here: balls and mallets.

The early rounds weeded out the contenders — both for the finals and for the wooden spoon play off, and players began to peel off to sit on the sidelines to enjoy a bevvie or two while heckling those still left on the lawn.

There were a few surprises, such as last year’s finalists Dougs and Andrew (who was also the inaugural champ back in 2019, but we can’t live off past victories forever) being knocked out in the semi-finals. This left the run for the cup wide open, with only last year’s champ Jen standing between fresh contenders Tim and Dave S, and victory.

But first, we watched the play-off for the wooden spoon, with our Kiwi cricket champ Tessa taking it out, showing that although she sucks at croquet, she is still highly competitive.

And then, the main event.

Crowd favourite Dave was out of the blocks in spectacular fashion, pulling off quite possibly the greatest jump shot ever executed in the history of croquet to take an early lead. Tim wasn’t having any of it though, cracking out a jump shot or two of his own to even the score.

Then reigning champ Jen kicked into gear, reminding us all of two things: there’s good reason she won this thing last year, and she really, really likes to win.

After 25 nail biting minutes of champagne croquet, we were left with a tie between Tim and Jen. The entire day was to be decided by one shot — closest to the red wicket wins.

The crowd was hushed. All eyes on the green. Who would hold their nerve?

Tim and Jen shot their shots simultaneously, both heading close to the wicket. And as Tim’s ball slowed, Jen’s extra muscle saw hers sail past the wicket.

Tim was declared the winner.

Was it his superior skill? Was it his bizarrely water-resistant suit? Or was it just his year?

The crowd didn’t care. They cheered the victory, and a spectacular show from Jen and Dave.

And then the heavens opened and the rain poured down, showing that even nature was on Tim’s side that day.

As for the rest of us: we’ll get ‘em next year.